I Don't Want to Be Invisible!
by maple-ice-cream
Summary: Matthew (Canada) seem invisible to everyone except bullies. He's about to end his life, until Gilbert (Prussia) accepts to go to the dance with him. Matthew hopes this is a starting of new luck. Warnings: Cutting, talk of suicide, Some swearing later on, Maybe smut later. Yaoi... If you don't like it, please don't read this.
1. Chapter 1

Francis P.O.V:

Before finding Matthew I never knew anyone could love someone so much.

I've been worried about him lately though. He seems so depressed and knowing him he would never tell me when something's wrong. I try to spend time with him but work has gotten busy.

I've caught him crying in his room once I didn't ask why I was already late for work but I wish I could have. He's gotten so skinny recently, I wonder if he's even eating but I can't tell because he's always wearing that red hoodie that's way too big for him. I don't even think he has any friends really I've never seen anyone around when I'm home.

That's why I'm really concerned about him I just he hope doesn't get too depressed….

Matthews P.O.V:

Yesterday school was terrible, just like every day. I don't have friends; even if I did they probably would ditch me within a day. I'm invisible to everyone and when people do notice me it's only because they've mistaken my for my brother and want to beat him up or because they're my everyday bully squad.

I probably deserve it for being gay. Everyone who I've ever told has said it's bad to be gay and that I should go die. By that I mean Alfred, Ivan, and Roderick. They use to be my friends until they asked me who I liked.

Gilbert Beildshmidt. Why must I have uttered those two words? It really wasn't worth it. But the albino enchanted me with is beautiful skin and white hair. That smirk that he always wears on his face; But most of all, his eyes.

His eyes were strange, somewhat outlandish; his eyes were red, like ruby red, definitely not blood red though… they were very strange mesmerizing to look into with the glint of confidence in them that gave you an honest-to-god feeling that everything was okay.

I bet he doesn't even like guys though, especially not a guy like me. Weak, wimpy, scrawny, short, crybaby, and a faggot, there is nothing to like. I just wished someone would notice me, and not just to beat me up.

I bet life would just be better if I was gone. I don't think anyone would notice if I disappeared, if I were to just not show up at school once and once would become twice which would become a month, maybe then a year or forever.

Papa would be too busy to notice my absents, I don't blame him though. He works hard to keep a roof over our heads and it would be rude if I asked any more from him.

Today I'm going to ask Gilbert if he'll go to the dance with me on Friday, even though he probably has girls lined up waiting to ask him out. If he says no I'm going to do it, just cut a little deeper than usual a little more than I would normally do. Not because he said no, because I know that's the universes way of saying 'You're not supposed to be happy'.

I know papa will be easier off because he won't have to buy for food for two anymore just for himself and he can get a smaller apartment. He won't have to worry about me anymore, not that I ever wanted him to worry for me.

I got to school a little late today, probably in my best interest anyway. I got to avoid getting beat up but that just means my beating at lunch will be worse, not that it matters the pain has dulled away, I can't really feel it any more.

I have my first class with Gilbert so I think I'll ask him after class. I hope he can see me and doesn't think I'm a ghost.

I don't want to be invisible!

* * *

Class has started I'd figure I would ask Gilbert after class. I'm kind of nervous he is one of the most popular kids in school and there's a really good chance he will say no. I am putting my life on this so I should be a bit nervous but why should I live if no one cares if I'm here or not. I'm certainly not enjoying my life as is.

As much as I'd love to stay on this hell they call Earth, I'd rather go into the bleak darkness where life is no more. No more bullies no, more rudeness no more life as living hell. I'm shy worthless and nothing. My existence doesn't matter anymore and if it did I wouldn't be thinking stuff like this. I don't believe in a god anymore unless they're heartless and cruel but I guess if there was they would want to punish me for lik-LOVING Gilbert. I'm not obsessed or infatuated with him but I know I'm in love with him and if I could control who I love, I would. Its 9:45 now so I have one more minuet till class ends signaling my probable demise.

...3

...2

...1 DING!

I started to pack up and noticed everyone had left except Gilbert and of course the teacher. He went to walk out and I grabbed his bag. "Wait! Gil-Gilbert... I was w-wondering if you w-w-would like to go to the d-dance with me o-on F-Friday?" Then I look down and cover the back of my head waiting to feel the kick or the punch I was expecting to get. I looked up at him all I saw was shock.

My eyes started to water, I knew this was the end. How could I even think he'd say yes? I started to walk out of the class room my head down. Someone grabbed my wrist and I gasped Letting out a small yelp of pain. I know my cuts just reopened luck I keep some bandages in my backpack. Then it came as music to my ears "Of course I'll go with you Birdie!" I looked up at him he had an actual smile on his face not his usual smirk. I let out a sob and hugged him tight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry its short, I'll post another chapter soon I hope. Gilbert may seem a little out of character but I tried.**

* * *

Gilbert's P.O.V:

I was really hoping this would happen, the constant staring at him during class. He's so cute and I'm so glad he asked! Do you know how many girls I've turned down for this kid? More than fifteen, but it's all worth it in the end.

Matthew looks so lonely and lost during lunch and we live near each other and I see him walk home. I really just wanted to go and hug him, for years now I just never had the courage to do it. No matter how awesome I know I am.

Now I have him here in my arms to keep him safe forever. I might just be his date for the dance, but I'm going to ask if he would like to be my boyfriend. I can't stand to see his face sad any longer, so from now on he will always be happy, never sad because my awesomeness will always be with him now.

I hugged him tight and ran my fingers through his soft hair; it reminded me of Gilbird's soft feathers. "Hey Mattie I know it's exciting that my awesomeness said yes, but that is no reason to cry."

What he said back came as a surprise to me. "I'm crying because I don't have to die now." Don't have to die? What? Who ever said the kid had to die if I didn't say yes?

I heard a gasp and seen his eyes widen. I guess he surprised himself too…maybe?

"Wh-what do you mean don't have to die?" Did I just stutter? The awesome me never stutters. Oh mien Gott what is this kid doing to me?

"Its n-nothing really I-I-I just I meant I W-was… I…." He looked like he was going to cry again really, I can tell because my awesomeness can read emotions because I'm awesome duhh! "You were what little bird?"

"I was g-go-going to k-k-k-k" What was he going to do the awesome me wants to know but he's just a stuttering mess spit it out kid. "Spit it out kid!" Damn that wasn't supposed to come out! That sounded really mean…

He backed away out of my grip "I-I don't have t-too k-kill myself a-a-an-any-anymore" …WHAT!? What does he mean doesn't have to kill himself anymore?! Does that mean if I didn't say yes if he would have killed himself!

He fell on the floor right outside the class room and started to sob. Hard.


	3. Chapter 3

Gilbert's POV

"No, Mattie, Birdie please don't cry" I crouched down beside him and hugged him softly. "I'm sorry, you just made me worried and I wanted to know what you were going to say."

inside I felt like I was dieing myself. Why would he ever want to kill himself. Why did he pick me of all people to decided whether he was going to live or die the worst loneliest death ever?

what if I went to the dance with Elizaveta instead of him he just would go and die? I squeeze him a bit tighter no enough for my awesomeness to hurt him though. I'm way too awesome to do that. He sobbed into my shoulder I.

"Birdie you wanna skip the rest of today we can go and get some ice cream together, common! It will be awesome, well not as awesome as me, but still pretty awesome!" I felt him nod against me and held onto me tighter.

He didn't move though, woh woh woh I am not carrying him I am way too awesome. But he still didn't move. Fine only because he's light like mien little bird.

I slowly lifted him and he wrapped his legs around my waist. He was still sniffling and had his face buried in my shoulder. As I started to walk down to the forest area that leads out of our school the bell rung startling Matt but he kept his head down against my shoulder

"Where do you want to go after we get ice cream?" I asked quietly, trying not to startle him "home please?" He looked up at me and smiled he had stopped crying and had the cutest smile ever, and I had never seen it till now and it gave me a warm feeling in my stomach to know I was the one to cause that smile.


End file.
